December 8, 2008

I made a mistake

I chose last Friday to quit smoking because I had heard that it was much easier to quit if you changed your surroundings. My office officially moved on Friday and I was going away for the weekend. Change of scenery!

When I was in Boston it was easy to not smoke. I was around children. I was around members of my family who, while they probably have figured out by this point that I smoked, would murder me if they ever saw a cigarette in my hands. I kept busy. There was a lot of food.

Now I'm back in New York. More specifically, I am back in my apartment. I love smoking in my apartment. I have very fond memories of smoking in my apartment. It's hard to imagine NOT smoking in my apartment. Which is where the trouble started.

I had one cigarette left in my last pack and I took a drag of it. And it was good. It has also, however, made me feel disgusting. I felt fine all day until I decided to read other blogs about quitting. It was at that point that I decided I desperately wanted a cigarette and found myself excited to come home where I knew I had one waiting.

It is for this reason that I am heading right back to my boyfriend's house which is full of nonsmokers and delicious snacks. I think I'm going to have to stay the hell out of my apartment for the next week or so, or this is never going to work.

1 comment:

thhande said...

Strength ... Have strength ... Been there. Its not easy, but it gets easy-ER over time. Good luck and Godspeed...