It is eight in the morning on new years day and I am about to see a woman I have not seen since I was sixteen. She is an ex girlfriend of a good family friend. From what I remember she is very nice. She has a child now. So that's something.
I want to be able to show something for the last seven years, other than longer hair and an inch or two. The only thing that creeps into my mind is: "I'm a smoker now!" Except I'm not. I want to be able to say, "I'm a college graduate!" But that isn't true either. Though that sentence is much more impressive than, "I'm in college!" or "I went to college!" which, while true, doesn't give the listener the full picture. But with smoking I can produce something. I can dump hundreds of used cigarette packs on a persons lap to prove that I've done something. I can't produce a diploma. All I have to show for six years of college is bags under my eyes and a love of sleep. These things are not impressive when presented.
"Please, please observe my puffy face and badly written papers. Pour over my less than stellar GPA. Marvel at my ability to stay a sophomore for over four years!"
Hundreds of packs of cigarettes give a much better picture.
"So what have you done since we last met?"
"I smoked a lot of cigarettes and drank a lot of beer."
"Have you really?? Please tell me all about it!"
At which point I dump a landfills worth of empty bottles and packs at her feet. That'll be charming!
As of Monday it will be a full month since I quit smoking. Sunday marks the last time I bought a pack of cigarettes.
Go me?
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