January 9, 2009

Over a Month...sort of

I bought my last pack of cigarettes on December 4th.

I was supposed to have my last cigarette on December 5th.

It hasn't exactly worked out that way.

After a month I feel like I'm supposed to be over this whole thing, but apparently not.

Last Saturday I smoked three and a half cigarettes.

On New Years Eve I smoked a number of very small hand rolled cigarettes. I'm not sure how many normal cigarettes that equals, but I know I should not have been smoking them.

Last night I had a few drags.

I feel like a jerk, mostly. For being all, "Woo, yeah! Cold turkey!" And then not going cold turkey. A friend of mine quit about twelve weeks ago and hasn't had one slip up. He didn't smoke as much as I did for as long as I did, but still. He makes me feel like a jackass.

I haven't joined the gym yet and I've smoked more in the last week then I did during the entirety of December.

Dammit.

4 comments:

SaintTigerlily said...

You are allowed to goof up.

Seth Mulvey said...

Quit that shit, they'll kill you.

Duckie said...

I keep saying it, but it's because I mean it--don't be so hard on yourself.

Anonymous said...

Do be hard on yourself. All it takes is one drag to get hooked AGAIN. Stay strong. I quit cold turkey today, btw... coincidence that I looked at your blog.