I bought my last pack of cigarettes on December 4th.
I was supposed to have my last cigarette on December 5th.
It hasn't exactly worked out that way.
After a month I feel like I'm supposed to be over this whole thing, but apparently not.
Last Saturday I smoked three and a half cigarettes.
On New Years Eve I smoked a number of very small hand rolled cigarettes. I'm not sure how many normal cigarettes that equals, but I know I should not have been smoking them.
Last night I had a few drags.
I feel like a jerk, mostly. For being all, "Woo, yeah! Cold turkey!" And then not going cold turkey. A friend of mine quit about twelve weeks ago and hasn't had one slip up. He didn't smoke as much as I did for as long as I did, but still. He makes me feel like a jackass.
I haven't joined the gym yet and I've smoked more in the last week then I did during the entirety of December.
Dammit.
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4 comments:
You are allowed to goof up.
Quit that shit, they'll kill you.
I keep saying it, but it's because I mean it--don't be so hard on yourself.
Do be hard on yourself. All it takes is one drag to get hooked AGAIN. Stay strong. I quit cold turkey today, btw... coincidence that I looked at your blog.
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